


Pieces of Me

by MarieQuiteContrarie (SeaStar1330)



Series: All of Me [4]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Body Image, Chubby Belle, F/M, Falling In Love, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-15 20:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9256547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaStar1330/pseuds/MarieQuiteContrarie
Summary: Here’s a collection of questions and answers from the story All of Me-snapshots and glimpses into what’s going on in the heart and mind of the character at the time. They also show the progression of the characters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank everyone for the encouraging responses on All of Me. You guys are amazing!
> 
> If you want to share something about your own struggles with body image, but are uncomfortable commenting or sending an ask, feel free to inbox me or send me an Anon. Ditto if there is an anecdote you want to see as I proceed with the story. No pressure, just want you to know my “door” is open.  
> Ask me: http://mariequitecontrarie.tumblr.com/ask  
> Hugs,  
> Marie

ANONYMOUS ASKED **  
All of Me Belle: That Mr. Gold is pretty nice, isn’t he? And he is so good with his grandson. It’s great that he brings him to story time every day, isn’t it? Do you know why he brings Henry instead of letting his mom, Emma, bring him?**

I love when Mr. Gold brings Henry to the library! Henry is such a darling little boy. I’m sure I wouldn’t know why Emma doesn’t bring Henry herself…perhaps she is busy, or perhaps she sees how much Mr. Gold and Henry adore one another and wants them to spend time together? I don’t believe the rumors that Mr. Gold is a ruthless reporter. I’ve read what he prints in the newspaper and it’s always truthful. I think people simply don’t like having their bad deeds and ugliness exposed. How can anyone who loves a child so dearly possibly be cruel? Mr. Gold dotes on Henry–always letting him borrow as many library books as he likes and taking him out for lunch or ice cream afterward. And the way he looks at him? That little boy has his heart. He doesn’t bring him every day–only a couple of days a week.  ~~But I wish he did.~~

* * *

   
BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED **  
All of Me Belle: So, how do you feel about Gold’s visit on Thursday? He’s pretty nice and very cute. ::wink::**

*Blushes and hides head in desk, searching for a snowball snack cake* Mr. Gold’s not coming to  _visit_ me; he’s coming to do a feature on the library. The library is the focus. Yes of course he’s attractive, but I don’t see how that matters.  ~~He could have anyone. Why would he want me?~~

* * *

 

 BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED **  
All of Me Gold: Isn’t Belle pretty and kind? Why don’t you ask her out?**

Miss French is stunning and wonderfully kind, yes. I would like to ask her for a date. Really. Can’t tell you how often I’ve opened my mouth to do just that. But she’s only recently broken up with her fiancé. Although I disapproved strongly of that relationship, it’s not my place to say so. I don’t want to be her rebound.

* * *

 

QUINNINTHENORTH ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Hey there, sweetie. How are you doing? Did you have fun at the party?**

I enjoyed myself more than I expected to, all things considered. It was a joy to spend time with Henry, of course, and it was good to talk with Emma and Neal, too. Emma was surprisingly kind to me. She’s so pretty and skinny that, well, I thought she might not want to talk to me. Mr. Gold’s arrival sort of threw me off and I was way too nervous to eat. I could feel him watching me and so I just pushed the food around on my plate. Then he came over to talk to me at the bonfire. What was that about? Now I’m starving and I’m going home to dig into a gallon of chocolate marshmallow ice cream stat.

* * *

 

IFISHOULDVANISH ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: Belle sure is stunning! Are you nervous at all about meeting with her on Thursday?**

Nervous? Try terrified. That woman is the only person on the East Coast who reduces me to a bumbling idiot in two seconds flat. I can’t believe I made that stupid comment at the bonfire about being the Town Monster–because she needs another reason to dismiss me? Maybe I should send someone else to do the interview…you know, Emma is a great photographer. Maybe she should ask the questions. As my daughter-in-law, she owes me a permanent favor. 

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: What do you mean when you say “disapproved strongly of that relationship {Sean and Belle}”? Can you explain why? Just curious.**

Let’s just say that any man who would berate or embarrass a woman in public–especially one as amazing as Belle–had better beware.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Q&A and character insight.

ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**Edith is an old hag! UGH. Belle needs to get out of there ASAP. I have two Ediths in my family and am still struggling to unlearn their BS. Probably never going to have a normal relationship with food or my body because of them. The world needs less Ediths. Great work, Marie. Beautiful and important story! Well done!**

Thank you so much. The support I’m receiving for this fic is incredible–I’m so glad _All of Me_ is resonating so far.

This is a great time for me to reiterate my open door policy–if you want to talk to me as Anon has and feel shy, send me an Anon or message me privately. I get that not everyone is ready or the type of person who wants to share their journey or experience in this. And I don’t claim to be an expert–you all have things to teach me, too! It’s taking me some guts to tell this story and you all are being so sensitive and sweet. For that I thank you.

I agree; the world needs fewer Ediths. They are toxic and damaging to the psyche. And food is a curious addiction because we HAVE to have a relationship to it. You can’t go cold turkey and quit it like you can drugs or alcohol or cigarettes. We need it to live! So how Belle’s relationship to food changes with her growth in self-esteem is an important part of this journey.

Thanks for walking through this with me.

* * *

   
STILL-SEARCHING47 ASKED  
**Oh, sweet Merlin, wait, wait, wait – did I miss that???? Edith is the Blue Fairy? Or well not because this is an AU, but that is the character? Wowzer, ok, I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe she was just being unintentionally cruel (which is still awful but not villainous) but if Edith = Blue, then I hate her with the fire of a thousand suns because Blue is shady, shady and no doubt intends everything because she is cruel and heartless.**

Yep, Edith = the Blue Fairy in _All of Me_ , which for our purposes in an AU means no, she is not magical, but yes she is shady.

As she is pretty much a universally loathed character who loves to meddle for people’s “own good,” I thought this was an interesting twist.

Also cause my baby beliza-fryler on Tumblr turned me on to the idea of MoeFairy as a ship. And I’m loving despising these two.

* * *

   
BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Edith: Why are you so nasty to Belle? I mean the girl is goddess incarnate, a beautiful person inside and out. Can’t you see how much you’ve hurt her?**

I don’t understand what you mean, dear.  All I have ever done is try to help Belle. She has such a pretty face! If she would have listened to me and try my clean eating and exercise suggestions to lose some weight, she would still be engaged to that handsome Sean. 

You know, it’s our job as women to keep men excited by taking proper care of ourselves, or else they lose interest. 

* * *

 

ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: What’s your favorite thing about Belle?**  
  
As a reporter, I consider myself a fairly good judge of character. Although I don’t know Miss French as well as I would like yet, I would say she exhibits the rare combination of enthusiasm and passion and a kind, humble spirit. The way she looks at the children when she’s reading them a tale or when she’s talking about her library, her eyes grow bright and wide and delighted. She also has a wonderfully sharp tongue, which I discovered the other evening at the bonfire.  

* * *

 

IFISHOULDVANISH ASKED  
**All of Me Henry: Do you think your grandpa enjoys story time as much as you do? Do you have a favorite story Belle’s read to you so far?**  
  
Grandpa loves stories. He says great stories are what life is all about. 

Miss Belle reads lots of different books, but last week she read  _Biscuit_  and  _Fly Guy_. Those were really cool. Biscuit got a new bone. Mom said since I liked it a lot she would buy it for me! 

I like to cuddle with Miss Belle. She’s soft and she smells real good. I wonder if Grandpa wants to cuddle with her, too. Then he wouldn’t have to live alone anymore.

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: What do you like to do for fun? Other than read, I mean.** **J** **I distinctly remember hearing about a writer’s workshop???**

Me? Oh! I’m really not that interesting. Yes, I love my books. And I’ll be starting the Writer’s Workshop up again on Tuesday evenings so that keeps me busy. Marco and I play Scrabble a lot.  ~~Can staring at Mr. Gold be considered a hobby?~~  I guess that’s all. Like I said, I’m kind of boring.

* * *

 

ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: How did you meet Cordelia? Has she worked at the library long?**

Cordelia’s arrival in town and at the library was prescient–on Monday she was in the process of applying for a library card when the ceiling sprung a leak. Immediately she rolled up her sleeves and started moving books and critical paperwork out of harm’s way. With the growing popularity of our services I’d been keeping my eyes open for an assistant. Even though she’s only been with me for a couple of days, Cordelia has already proven herself both loyal and invaluable.

I only wish she would stop fanning herself with the library newsletter whenever Mr. Gold walks by. Yesterday she announced that “since I don’t want him” the library should host a combined poetry reading/bachelor auction featuring Mr. Gold. I suppose I was a little defensive in quashing her idea, but this is a library, not a bloody dating service!

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: How are you doing after asking Belle out? I think you’re going to have to have some patience with this one.**  
  
I’m doing quite well and our breakfast visit the other day gave me reason to believe my interest isn’t unwelcome. Why, what have you heard? Never mind. *clears throat*

Belle has my telephone number and she knows where to find me. I’m hoping if I give her time to think, she’ll see how much I care for her already.

* * *

   
ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Have you called Gold yet??**  
  
I’ve  _thought_  about calling Gold. Does that count?

It’s just that…I can’t quite get my head around this. He’s a famous reporter, he’s incredibly handsome, and he’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. Gold can have any woman in town. Why would I hold any interest for him?

* * *

 

MAGNOLIATATTOO ASKED  
**Could you be any more perfect, Mr. All of Me Gold? ::smile::**

I’m hardly perfect. If truth be told, I’m lonely for companionship. Don’t get me wrong: I love my son and his family. But Neal’s an adult now and they are his family. Sometimes I feel a wee bit in the way and I sense that Belle understands and appreciates this emotion. Maybe if we had each other, we could face the world together instead of on our own? 

* * *

 

IFISHOULDVANISH ASKED  
**All of Me Cordelia: Since Belle “doesn’t want him,” what might _you_ like to do on a date with Mr. Gold? ::wink::**

Goodness child! I’m sure I don’t have a clue what an old blue hair like me would do with such a young, virile, sophisticated man as Mr. Gold. But since you asked…I rather think a romantic candlelit dinner and a short walk on the beach would be just the thing. He’d have to hold my arm due to my rheumatism and all. That fine man is welcome to recite a bit of poetry in that dreamy accent of his as well.

It’s useless for the women of this town to dream at any rate; Mr. Gold is head-over-heels in love with Miss Belle. Sadly, I think she’s going to be the last to know. Stubborn girl can’t see her own worth. 

* * *

 

 LENI-BA ASKED  
**All of Me Emma: Aside from catching your father (in law) staring at the library, have there been other signs that he’s interested in Belle French?**  
  
You mean besides the fact that he stared at Belle for Henry’s entire party? Or because he can’t string a sentence together when she’s anywhere nearby? Or maybe you’re talking about his insistence that he be the one to take Henry to the library each week so he can educate him on Robert Burns and Walter Scott. Because how could I, his mother, possibly find a book for a 5-year-old?

Yeah. He’s interested.

* * *

 

 BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Moe: I have a bone to pick with you. Why have you allowed Edith to chip away at Belle’s self-esteem, and well, treat her like crap? I mean, Belle’s your daughter and she needs her father to be…well, fatherly.**

What are you saying? I don’t understand. Edith loves Belle, treats her like her own daughter. God knows she needed a woman after her mother died. I know I’ve been a lousy father…could barely hold it together when I lost my sweet Colette. Maybe Edith has been strict with Belle on occasion, but it’s been for her own good. All she does is work at that library and when she comes home she escapes to her room for more books. All we want is for our girl to be healthy and happy. I don’t want to lose her, too.

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Let’s have some girl talk…how are you doing preparing for your big date? What do you plan to wear? Will you let Gold kiss you? Will you gab about it with Cordelia or Marco afterwards, because they will want details. Cordelia will especially want details. ::smile::**

Girl talk? Have you been talking to Marco? *Narrows eyes* 

I have no clue what I am going to wear for a date with Mr. Gold. He’s always dressed to kill. Right now I am standing in my closet trying to find an outfit for that bloody interview on Thursday. Which is in two days. I’ve narrowed it down to black pants and black pants.

Do you think Gold wants to kiss me? *blushes* I mean I’ve thought about it…

Yes, I will probably talk to Marco. He’s my best friend. Not about the kissing, though. Do you really think there will be kissing? As for Cordelia, there is no doubt I will have to answer endless questions from her. *sighs* I either need to find that woman more to do or move to another country. 

Is Bolivia nice this time of year?

* * *

 

SCRIBBLES-BY-KATE ASKED  
**All of Me Sean: How DARE you be so insulting to Belle??? What, are you jealous because she’s on a date with an attractive older man who’s clearly crazy about her? You’re such an ass!**

::Huffs:: Look doll, you’ve got the wrong idea about me. Belle and I have a long history. She knows I’m kidding. We’ve teased her ever since we were kids. It doesn’t bother her at all. You’ll see.

* * *

 

SCRIBBLES-BY-KATE ASKED  
**Who do you think you’re calling doll??? You ass! Maybe you should, I don’t know, ask whether Belle is bothered by your name calling? Or maybe you’re just too insensitive to care about anyone’s feelings but your own. Jerk!**  
  
Uh…I uh. Yeah. I think I hear Ashley calling me.

* * *

 

SCRIBBLES-BY-KATE ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: I know that you’re a gentleman, sir, and I’m sure you’ve got some choice words for that turd Sean, being the eloquent wordsmith you are, but, just so you know, I don’t think any of us would mind if you laid him out with a single punch. I know you’re more than capable. ::smile::**

You don’t think I’ve traveled into war zones around the globe without knowing how to get myself into and out of a good fight, do you, dearie?

Yes, I’m more than capable of handling anything Mr. Herman throws my way. But my real concern is Belle. A public display might upset her, and I’ve no wish to add to her discomfort in any way. My chief concern is her happiness. But the way I’ve seen him treat her…I hope I can keep my temper in check.

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Sean: Why are you so horrible to Belle? And have you ever been introduced to Gold’s “cane of feelings?”**

::Gulps:: Cane of feelings? Is that, like, the name of a strip club or something?

* * *

 

SCRIBBLES-BY-KATE ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Don’t listen to Sean! He’s an absolute jerk and you’re far too good for him. I hope you enjoy the rest of your date with Mr. Gold. You’re so lucky: he’s such a handsome man. ::hugs::**

Gold has been amazing and I’m having a wonderful time. Yes, he looks so handsome tonight. Wearing my favorite tie, too. I saw him quick take out his tie pin and shove it in his pocket…do you think he’s nervous?

The thing is, Sean knows me. He’s known me for years and I can’t deny that some of the things he’s said about me are true. What if Gold listens and believes him? I wouldn’t blame him for reassessing his interest in dating me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have more questions, feel free to submit them to http://mariequitecontrarie.tumblr.com/ask


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q&A continued.

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Marco: I think you should make Belle’s ex a plate of lasagna. Special ingredient: Ex Lax *wink***  
  
I like the way you think, cara mia. ::Glares at Sean, rubs hands together, and stalks back to the kitchen::

* * *

  
LENI-BA ASKED

 **All of Me Gold: Has it crossed your mind that Belle might feel self-conscious about her figure?**  
  
Well, I don’t know why she would be self-conscious. Belle is stunning in every way. Beautiful in mind, body, and spirit. I’ve never seen anyone who shines brighter than Belle French.

But I have noticed she sometimes has a hard time eating. I hope she knows she has nothing to fear with me.

* * *

  
MAGNOLIATATTOO ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: When are you going to take Belle home to show her your very large Pulitzer?**  
  
*Clears throat* Belle and I are only beginning to get acquainted. I don’t want to frighten the sweet girl by moving too fast too soon.

Do you think she wants to see my, ah, awards?

MAGNOLIATATTOO RESPONDED  
**Mr. Gold, I am confident that she will be impressed by your…um, accolades. *wink* Don’t ask me how I know. I just know.**

Really, dearie? I’m flattered.

* * *

   
BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: So do you have any ideas for a second date? Picnics are romantic and in a more secluded area, say near a cabin, you won’t risk bumping into jerks. Plus, it would give you some privacy.**  
  
Those are lovely ideas, dearie. Have you been speaking with my daughter-in-law Emma, by chance?

I’m very much looking forward to taking Belle anywhere she would care to accompany me. That said, this is our first date and Belle’s moronic former fiancé has dared to approach our table. I’ll give consideration to future dates once I dispatch this piece of garbage.

* * *

   
ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me: After this little spectacle, I bet Emma and Neal will find that they no longer tolerate the company of a certain Sean and his wife.**  
  
Ashley and Sean aren’t married, but you raise a good point. I don’t see Emma and Neal looking favorably on Sean. To this point, no one but Belle has been fully aware of Sean’s unkindness. I’m not a psychologist, but such is the nature of emotional abuse. The signs that something is wrong aren’t always outward and when the abused thinks they are somehow “deserving” of the abuse, they are more likely to excuse it or hide the damage.

* * *

  
ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: What about Belle are you most attracted to? And All of Me Belle, same question:  what do you find most attractive about Gold?**

Gold: It’s difficult for me to choose only one of Belle’s attributes; I’ve been an admirer of hers for a long time. She’s beautiful, but her mind is her most exquisite feature.

Belle: His eyes. *blushes:* They say so much about a person. Not only are Gold’s eyes physically beautiful–warm whisky brown–but when he looks at me I feel like he truly sees  _me._ _  
_

* * *

   
MAGNOLIATATTOO ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: So, text her now. Now. At 2 a.m. Or 6 a.m. Just text her and ask her out again! What do you have in mind, anyway???**  
  
*Looks stricken* I don’t want to wake Belle up. That is not the action of a gentleman. Besides, what if she doesn’t want to see me again? I don’t think I could sleep if I didn’t get her answer right away. No, I will call her in the morning.  ~~That way I can distract myself with work while I wait.~~

I was hoping she might join me for a stroll on the beach.

* * *

   
ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**Chubby Belle: So, how are you feeling after your date?!?!?!?! That kiss!! Is he a good kisser?**  
  
I’m looking down at the clouds. I feel electric…I will never sleep tonight. 

*Blushes* It was the most incredible kiss of my life.

* * *

   
BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
  
**All of Me Belle: So, how good of a kisser is Gold? *wink, wink***

He’s, um, not bad. *Ovaries explode*

* * *

 

RIPPERBLACKSTAFF ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: I love you, girl! You go and get that hot piece of Scottish ass! How will you react when he tries to move forward in your relationship?? Like, sex, girl!**

*Hands on hips* Is this Cordelia? 

Sex…I haven’t had sex in…well, it’s been a while. I’m not sure that’s something I’m ready to pursue. I’m happy just being with him.   ~~It scares me that he might not want to be with me anymore if I don’t move fast enough.~~

* * *

 

ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: After what happened with Sean, are you allowing yourself to get hopeful? Or can you still not see how beautiful you are?**  
  
I’m trying to see beauty, but it’s hard to flip a switch when you’ve spent twenty-five years loathing the reflection in the mirror.

But Gold. There are times…the way he looks at me gives me hope.

* * *

  
BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Edith: Belle had a date with a hot, silver fox who can trigger ovary explosions! I think you should put that in your pipe and smoke it.**  
  
*Screws face up like a prune*

Belle is a smart girl with a pretty face, but come on, dear. She already lost that handsome Sean and she was lucky to get him to begin with. Belle needs to be more realistic in her expectations now. If there’s a man out there who does want her, well, there’s probably something wrong with him.

And aren’t you droll. I don’t smoke.

* * *

 

SCRIBBLES-BY-KATE ASKED  
**All of Me Sean: Hey, Sean, how are you doing? Feeling all right? *smirks***  
  
*Glares and clutches stomach* The old Italian man–Marcus or whatever–was giving me the evil eye. I think he put something in my food. That’s the last time I eat lasagna from  _that_  place!

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: More of an observation than a question. I thought what you said to Belle after Sean left was beautiful. I think you’re going to win her heart.**  
  
I would be honored to win Belle’s heart. But I didn’t say those things to impress her or get her to fall in love with me; I said them because they are true. Belle is incredible–smart and witty and beautiful–and no one should ever speak to her with anything less than respect. 

* * *

 

REGALCOQUIPRINCESS ASKED  
**All of Me Neal and Emma: So has Gold told you anything about his date with Belle?**

Neal: *scratches head* Well, Pop and I are going out tomorrow with Henry. Maybe I will ask him then, you know, if it comes up naturally.

Emma: *frowns* Dad is suddenly being pretty tight-lipped with me, but I think I should call Belle and find out how she feels about him.

Neal: That’s my wife. *looks at Emma with admiration*

* * *

 

STILL-SEARCHING 47 ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: If you could arrange your perfect date with Gold, what would it be like?**  
  
I suppose my perfect date would feature books, since they are my greatest passion, but I think I would enjoy spending time with Gold in  _any_ way. It’s so nice to be with someone who isn’t always sizing me up, or judging what I put in my mouth, or looking at me because I have big boobs. 

Truth be told, I’m starting to think he’s perfect. Is that possible?

* * *

   
MAGNOLIATATOO ASKED  
**All of Me Sean: Feeling ok, buddy? I heard there was an incident at Granny’s…**

Can’t get up…typing this from the toilet.

Oh God, I’m gonna die, aren’t I?

Shit. I dropped my…

* * *

 

LENI-BA ASKED  
**All of Me Emma: How did you and your husband meet?**  
  
On a job, actually. Neal started his construction company when he was like 18, soon after he moved to town with Gold. I was just getting into photography at the time, and working for a tiny, crappy rag of a newspaper called  _The Midas Touch_  that no longer exists. The paper was so bad that I was both photog and reporter. I suck at writing so, yeah, bad idea. I was sent to take pics of Neal on a job site because having someone who builds new is a huge deal in a place like Storybrooke.

Anyway, we started talking and Neal was warm and funny and so cute. The first day we met he was cracking jokes about marrying me and taking me on a honeymoon to Tallahassee. I mean, what girl in her right mind could resist this face?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several more questions and answers.

SCRIBBLES-BY-KATE ASKED  
**All of Me Emma: Hey, Emma, I was wondering how well you remembered Belle from school. Were you and she friendly back then or is it just now that you’re getting to know each other better?**

I remember Belle from school, but we weren’t exactly friends. *squirms* No! I wasn’t mean to her or anything but I didn’t try to reach out, either. I had my own…stuff going on at the time and well, that was probably a poor excuse.

Hopefully we can be friends now. Belle has so much to offer and I want to know her better. We have things in common, things I’m not ready to share with anyone except her. I’ve got this really good feeling that she’s going to be a part of our family someday. *glares in the direction of Gold’s office* Dad better not mess this up!

* * *

 

SCRIBBLES-BY-KATE ASKED  
**All of Me Neal: You’re such a great guy, Neal: that was amazing advice that you gave your father. Do you think your dad will follow your advice. I think he’d be wise to :)**  
  
Thanks. *shoves hands in pockets* Pop’s a smart guy with a good heart, you know? He’d have figured it out eventually. I just helped him get there a little sooner. 

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: So…you intend to keep Belle out late on your next date? What sorts of mischief do you have planned, Mr. Gold?**  
  
I confess, I haven’t really planned our evening yet. *Looks mortified* Oh God! She’ll think I’m trying to get her to sleep with me, won’t she? I shouldn’t have said that. But whenever I see Belle I lose my head. She’s so incredible and I feel so lucky to spend time with her doing anything. I will plan something special, though. Belle deserves to be cherished.

* * *

 

QUINNINTHENORTH ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Would you like to make a family and have children some day?**  
That’s…not a dream I’ve ever thought would be realistic for me, you know? I’ve fantasized about it, but have always kept that desire confined to my imagination where it’s safe. People are fond of implying that I’ve already “ruined my chance” for a husband and family by breaking up with Sean. Who would want me? Then Gold comes along and he’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. He’s already an amazing father and grandpa. But to start over? With me? I don’t know.  ~~If he asked today, I might not have the strength to tell him No.~~

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Henry: You are so precious. Grandpa and Belle would be lost without you playing matchmaker. They will probably need to you to continue to give them a helping hand.**

I love Miss Belle and I want her to be my other grandma. Then she’d tuck me in bed and read me stories whenever I want. And I’d always know more stories than the other kids at school. *Frowns* Except Grandma Nolan has grey hair. Can you be a grandma if you don’t have grey hair? Mommy, do you know?

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Marco: What part of Italy do you come from and are your restaurant dishes family recipes?**  
  
Ciao, mia cara. I am Sicilian. You know this because I put peas in my sauce. I learn all my recipes from my Nonna when I grew up in Palermo and she pass her recipes to me. I use a special ingredient in my lasagna for special customers. And I give the evil eye to that porco Sean. Disgraziata!

A/N: I’m channeling my Nonna right now. She’d be proud, I think. *winks*

* * *

 

ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: Do you want to get married and have more kids?**  
  
I’ve never been married and thus far raising Neal has been the greatest joy of my life. The idea of marrying a woman who loves me and raising a child with her is appealing, but there’s only one woman I’m interested in. Although she’s deigned to date me, I don’t think Belle French would ever agree to marry me. 

Do you think I have reason to hope?

* * *

 

GRACE52373 ASKED  
**All of Me Edith: Do you realize you are hurting Belle with your criticisms?**

How dare you? I love Belle. I’ve raised her like my own since she was a child. All I want is what’s best for her. You know nothing about me and my family.

* * *

 

MAGNOLIATATTOO ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: have you met Belle’s new library assistant? She’s an amazing woman, and I hear she makes an excellent pot of tea. I think you might be interested in what she has to say. :)**  
  
You must mean Cordelia. Handsome older woman with reddish hair? Aye, she’s always very kind to me, which is unusual because beyond my family and Belle, most people see the town newspaperman and run screaming in the other direction. Well, not literally, but you follow my meaning. 

I do wonder if she has a problem with her eyes? She’s always blinking and waving sheets of paper in front of her face when she sees me. And the other day at Granny’s I could have sworn she whispered “Good shag” and squeezed my arse. I must’ve imagined that.

ROWOFSTARS REPLIED  
I AM DEAD.

Cordelia, get it girl!

* * *

 

ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: I love you sweetie you are beautiful and amazing and Gold couldn’t possibly do better than you. <3**  
  
Thank you. That’s…that’s the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me.

* * *

 

ANONYMOUS ASKED                 
**All of Me Belle: I’m not gonna say how I know, but I think if you play your cards right, you might get everything you hope for. ;)**  
  
I’m afraid I have a lousy poker face, but me, get everything I hope for? That’d be beyond my wildest fantasies.

* * *

 

ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: If you could get any woman you wanted, who would it be? And if it’s Belle, why?**

Yes, it’s Belle. And not that it’s any of your business, dearie, but I’ll humor you. Belle is brilliant and kind; a rare jewel in a pile of dross. And when I spend time with her I feel happy.

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: How old are you? I tried to calculate your age myself. You mentioned that you were 17 when Neal was born and that you devoted yourself to him for 25 years, which brings us to 42. Am I right?**  
  
Yes, I’m 42. I worry that I’m still too old for Belle, though. Not only in years, but in life. I’ve raised a son and I’m a grandfather now. Belle is still in her twenties–she’s Emma and Neal’s age–and has her whole life ahead of her. She can be anything, go anywhere…

* * *

 

BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: So, what do you think Gold might have planned for your next date, which may keep you out at all hours of the night?**  
  
I have no idea what he meant. He’s a writer, though. He knows how to turn a phrase. *blushes and looks down* He did say something about taking a walk, which worries me a little. What if I’m sweating and out of breath and trying to keep pace? How embarrassing. 

Do you know people wear all kinds of fancy athletic clothes now? I’m going to have to drive to Portland to go shopping for something other than sweatpants. 

STILL-SEARCHING47 REPLIED  
Gold walks with a cane, I don’t think he’ll be running anywhere. *hugs Belle* - I love this fic!

Belle: Oh, that’s right. I forgot about the cane. Honestly, I barely notice it–Gold carries himself with so much confidence and authority.

* * *

 

 LENI-BA ASKED  
**All of Me Neal and Emma: Tell us how Gold reacted when he found out he was getting a grandchild?**  
  
Emma: *beams* He was thrilled. He was the first person we told. He wanted to print it on the front page of  _The Storybrooke Mirror._  

Neal: Yeah. But we let him print a birth announcement when Henry was born and that seemed to satisfy him.

Emma: Naming the baby after him helped soothe him, too.

Neal: *nods* Yeah. Henry is Pop’s middle name.

Emma: Since we’re not allowed to say his first name out loud. *rolls eyes*

Neal: He doesn’t like it. Does it matter?

Emma: Not really. Hey, maybe…

Neal: What?

Emma: Never mind. *smiles*

* * *

 

ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: have you thought about having children at all? Especially with a certain, very handsome journalist…**  
  
I’ve…I’ve thought about children. But there are an awful lot of steps between where Gold and I are right now and bringing a child into the world.

He already has a son and an adorable grandson in Henry.

What makes you think he’d want to start all over again with someone like me?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More.

ASHADEOFPEMBERLEY ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Do you have a favorite outfit that you wear? One that always makes you look and feel beautiful?**  
  
Up until I went shopping with Emma the other day, I would have told you that the only article of clothing I rely on to make me feel  _anything_ is a black cardigan sweater that makes me feel INVISIBLE.

Looking for clothes with Emma was unexpectedly great, though. She really surprised me, sharing her struggles the way she did. Maybe…maybe body image issues  _aren’t_ just for chubby girls like me. It’s hard because it seems like being thin is more socially acceptable than being fat, you know? Can being called “Bones” really be as bad as being called “Big Belle-y?” It feels the same on the inside, I guess, but it certainly looks different on the outside.

Anyway, the outfit Emma helped me choose and the way Gold looked at me when I wore it? I felt pretty fantastic that day.

* * *

   
ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: If you could choose between being thinner or being with Gold, what would you pick?**

*Glares* I don’t see how that’s in any way a fair question. Why do the two have to be mutually exclusive?

A/N: I feel like the power of the story is in the fact that Belle doesn’t have to make this choice at all; Gold will love her whether she’s fat or thin or medium. He loves her because of who she is and how she makes him feel. It doesn’t matter what she looks like or how much she weighs.

* * *

   
BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: I loved how you were able to calm Gold down during his panic attach. At least now you know what to do whenever one of those crops up. To change the subject a smidge…what do you think he’s like in bed? Now there might be another idea to distract him from his anxiety. *wink***

*Flushes* I wasn’t really planning a way to calm Gold down…I saw that he was upset and I took action. Maybe I should have thought it through, but I would have done  _anything_  to wipe that terrified look off his face.

I’m sure I have no idea how he is in bed. ~~He’s fantastic at everything he does so why would this be any different?~~  Goodness, we’ve only started seeing each other. *hands on hips* Did Cordelia put you up to this?

* * *

   
BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: I hear you’ve had a crush on Gold for three years now. So, what was your first meeting like?**  
  
I’d seen him around town for years, of course. The library, as you know, is right across the street from  _The Storybrooke Mirror._

The first time we met was in the library after a children’s reading hour. Henry was only a toddler at the time and I was dating Sean. Afterward, Gold was checking out books for Henry and himself. You can tell a lot about a person by what they read. It’s always nonfiction selections only for Gold–gardening books and self-improvement and business. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with a novel.

Anyway, I remember he picked up a stray diet book called  _Farewell to Flab_ that he found at a nearby reading table. He carried it like it was something filthy and tossed it down on the circulation desk. Then he looked straight into my eyes and asked me “why on earth” I would carry “such drivel” at the library in the first place. Then he smiled at me, hefted Henry on his hip and kissed his nose, and told me to have a wonderful day.

That was my moment–the moment I started falling in love with Gold.

* * *

   
ONCEUPONANOVEL ASKED  
**All of Me Gold: It’s clear as day how much you love Belle. What is the first thing that drew you to her? And how were you able to resist her charms for so long?**  
  
What first attracted me to Belle was her beautiful spirit. Sometimes you feel inexplicably drawn to a person–the way they move, and laugh, or read a story to a group of children. Such was the case with Belle. 

*Hikes an eyebrow* I didn’t resist Belle’s charms at all. I mooned over her and sulked in silence and blocked Emma from taking Henry to the library so I could have an excuse to see her. All the while I waited for her to dump that bastard Sean so I could finally make her mine.

OF-PRINCES-AND-SAVAGES RESPONDED  
A fine answer, and the finest use of a short-haired Gold gif I’ve seen yet. *applause*

A/N: Thanks! He’s so yummy when he’s being a bastard with feelings raging beneath the surface. ;-) It took me a while to get used to the shorn locks and I was scared to even use a short haired Gold in this story, but now I’m so glad.

* * *

   
ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Don’t know how to ask this, so I’m just going to ask: have you ever been with anyone before? Have you ever thought about making love to Gold?**  
  
Yes, I have been with someone before. Aaron, my boyfriend in high school. I guess I don’t understand why sex is such a big deal. The few times Aaron and I were together weren’t very good. I was too worried about my rolls to concentrate on enjoying myself anyway. It’s been a long time, but I won’t deny that Gold has awakened desires that I haven’t felt in years.

* * *

   
ONCEUPONANOVEL ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: If someone gave me a bookmark as wonderful as Gold gave you, I’d never let him go.**

That bookmark was the most beautiful, thoughtful present I have received in my entire life. I carry it with me everywhere. Gold is an extraordinary man, and sometimes I have to pinch myself because I can’t believe he’s real. 

* * *

  
ASHADEOFPEMBERLEY ASKED  
**All of Me Emma: When you struggle with self-image, who do you turn to? Has anyone or anything been particularly helpful?**

I turn to my husband, especially on those days when my brain is telling me all of those old, familiar lies and I  _so badly_ want to believe them. 

Neal grounds me, reminds me of my journey and how far I’ve come. I’m no longer the girl who would scarf two dozen cookies and then do speed drills on the treadmill for two hours to make up for my binge, or the teenager who used to sneak into the school locker room to pop laxatives.

My identity isn’t determined by a number on a scale or a dress size. I am defined by knowing myself and who I am known by. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law, a friend. I am Emma. And that’s ok.

* * *

   
STILL-SEARCHING47 ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Are you going to ask Gold about his panic attack in the park? Or maybe not ask Gold but ask Neal/Emma if Gold is ok?**

I thought about it, but I decided to hold my tongue after Gold’s panic attack in the park–I didn’t want to force him to talk about it. I really hate people forcing me to discuss my problems when I’m not ready.  ~~I guess I was afraid of rejection, too. I didn’t want to hear him say it wasn’t my business.~~

* * *

   
BOOKWORMCHOCAHOLIC ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Do your parents have any idea that you’re dating this Silver Fox Scotsman? I know you want to keep it to yourself, but Storybrooke is a small town and word travels fast.**  
  
*Snorts* I doubt it. Edith doesn’t think I’m capable of holding anyone’s interest for longer than the span of a single date. And my father, he only knows what Edith deigns to tell him. He goes from the flower shop, to the kitchen table, to his recliner, to his bed, then repeats. It’s the same thing every day in that house.

As far as word getting around, now you sound like Gold. He wants to meet Dad and Edith, he says, sooner rather than later. It’s like he  _wants_  everyone to know. But what if they tell him all the ugly truths about me and scare him away? We’ve only been going out for a couple of weeks and I don’t want it to be over before it’s truly begun. See? This wasn’t a good idea. I never should have gotten my hopes up.  ~~I don’t think I can bear to lose him.~~

* * *

   
ANONYMOUS ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: So, is it safe to assume that Gold is an excellent kisser? How does he taste?**  
All right,  _Cordelia_ , since you won’t bloody well stop asking me!

I haven’t kissed many men, but every time Gold touches me I run out of oxygen and my wibbly-wobbly legs melt into a puddle of goo. So yes, I would qualify him as an excellent kisser. He tastes like paper–sweet like vanilla and almonds and oak, but also slightly bitter and metallic, like newspaper ink. It’s wonderful. There. Does that satisfy you?

* * *

   
STILL-SEARCHING47 ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: I really want to ask you a question (OOC: because I love this fic so much!) but I don’t want to re-ask something somebody has already asked. Erm, oh how about your favorite things like book, movie, music, artist etc. What are they and what do you think Gold’s favorites are and how would you share what you love with him? Maybe give you future date ideas :)**  
  
I’m a librarian, so there’s no book I won’t read and no genre I don’t respect, but I have something of a penchant for Amish romance novels. Their courtships are so quiet and sincere. What else? I love Impressionist art, especially Renoir, because the women he painted were rosy and curvaceous, even fat. There’s no television in my room, so I don’t watch much TV. My father is always watching sports on the downstairs television, but I usually don’t miss it–I’d rather flip through interior decorating magazines. Did you see the new Restoration Hardware catalogue? Nineties pop music is my guilty pleasure, but don’t tell anyone, ok?

Gold has a rather large home and we’ve already discussed designing a library for Henry, so maybe he likes interiors, too? I haven’t visited yet, but I hope I have a chance to soon. He listens to opera and classic rock–I’ve heard both in his car when we were out on a date. When he’s not working, he mostly reads children’s books in his spare time because he’s always reading to Henry. Isn’t that adorable? *blushes* The rest of the time, he reads newspapers and current events magazines. I’ve also seen him check writing stylebooks and business books out of the library.

The more we talk, the more we learn about each other. It’s been pleasant, and he’s so easy to talk to.

* * *

   
MAGNOLIATATTOO ASKED  
**All of Me Belle: Do you know what we need? A magic mirror, to show you how beautiful you really are. If you could only see yourself through Gold’s eyes!!!**

I’m trying, I am. Thank you for being so kind.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to ask me questions here: http://mariequitecontrarie.tumblr.com/ask


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